She knew it wasn’t healthy. To run after that opportunity cost to redeem herself. She realized she picked the wrong choice— or maybe it was wrong because what she picked ended in failure. But in truth, even when she had chosen that wrong choice, she could never let go of the feeling she had for that opportunity cost. The idea muddled her mind and made her go crazy, but she continuously pushed it to the back of her mind.
Yet the feeling has dominated her once again. She couldn’t help but let the feeling overwhelm her once again— even with knowledge of the effects. She was tired and let her head fall onto his shoulders. It was a gesture to denote how tired she was, but ultimately, it was to show the feelings she had long kept in her towards him. She felt safe— to the point she drifted off to slumber. She didn’t have a clue what was going through his mind with that gesture of hers. She must’ve made him feel awkward and placed him in a bad situation.
Her friend told her that he couldn’t decipher the guy’s face when she placed her head on the guy’s shoulder. From the point of view of her friend, the guy didn’t know how to take the gesture itself. She laughed when her friend told that to her. It was an expected reaction, but in the end, she shouldn’t have done it. She cared about the guy too much and bringing him into the mess known as her life wasn’t a healthy thing to do. The feelings she had towards him wasn’t healthy either. It was taking control of her mind.
The simplest yet hardest solution is to walk away from all contact.