I’ve never been the type to study heavily for periodic exams. I’ve always thought of periodic exams as a measure of what you have learned for the whole quarter. I simply read my notes to recall certain formulas and lessons, but that’s all there is to it. I spend most of my time during exam week typing posts. Typing just about anything on my mind stimulates my mind more than reading lessons over and over. I guess you can say it’s my way of studying. I’ve read the Filipino stories, my Economics notes and the Chemistry handout. Sadly, my body doesn’t want me to sleep just yet, so I’ll write a bit about the inner workings of my mind— how I treat my outside family relationships exactly.
Above is a relationship pyramid created using Microsoft Word 2007. I’m sure how I rank my relationships with others is more intricate; however, to avoid the bloodshed of reading numerous groups, I’ve clumped it to the eight general levels. The creation of this pyramid was sparked from a conversation I had with a friend. We were talking about how I upgrade and demote people between levels in the pyramid because that’s been happening a lot recently. There are three main groups: For Bonding (green), For Connecting (blue), For Socializing (lilac). Each group has 2-3 sub levels, which I’ll explain further in this post.
For Socializing are people who I basically talk to just to socialize. They don’t have a significant meaning in my life. They’re simply there to help me pass time whether it’s in a party or in an outreach. They’re people I could forget after a few hours or a few months. They’re people I talk to on a whim and may not leave a great impact on my life.
This is where everyone I meet starts. It’s a state wherein we don’t know each other— nothing at all except titles. A titles usually refers to how people connect me to more prominent people. For example, a person would call me the niece of a certain olympic gymnast. That’s how strangers initially begin. We know nothing about each other except our status in life— this may include fame, wealth, notoriety, etc. It’s the vaguest portion of my relationship pyramid.
These are people I get to know on a first name basis. They may include people I met online and share some interests with. They make spending time at a certain place bearable or even better, but only until that level. It’s possible for me to exchange interests with them and discuss about those interests. At times, they’re people I simply talk to about issues. They’re a step-up from strangers because you know each other’s names.
As opposed for simply socializing, For Connecting are people whom I’d like to form connections with. These connections I may use in the future to benefit myself or others. The purpose of this is to create a network of people that could help each other in times of need. They have relatively higher importance than those in For Socializing, but in comparison with For Bonding, they cannot compare.
3. FC People
FC people is a small bridge between acquaintances and friends. They’re people I consider more than acquaintances, but less than friends. They’re people I run into a lot and talk to from time to time. They could include people I help on petty things simply because I know them in some manner. Usually those that I wave ‘hi’ to in the hallways are those— while I say ‘hi’ to a lot of people, I mean it in the context that I just say ‘hi’. That’s my only means of conversing with them.
Finally, we have the friend zone. Honestly, I upgrade people to friend status quickly. A friend status usually denotes that I have some ounce of care for your well-being. However, it’s simply care because I won’t do much to help you. That’s exactly why I throw the term friend around loosely. There’s a difference between caring and acting on that care. Sadly, there’s no transition level between friends and close friends. What’s worse is that friends and close friends differ greatly on my book, so it’s difficult to have a status upgrade from friend to anything higher. It’ll take a lot of effort to do so.
Finally, For Bonding is self-explanatory. They’re the people I want to make actual bonds with. They’re the people that I wouldn’t mind being in a table with in some party. For me, the opinions of these people are important and have some effect on my decision making— especially those in the best friends portion. The For Bonding group is difficult to reach because I’m picky about the friendships I form. Most of the people in the For Bonding zone, I’ve accepted them for who they are— I could easily forget their faults. They are the people I’d always want to see smiling— exactly why I go along with their whims right away.
5. Close Friends
Honestly, it’s difficult for me to describe what are close friends exactly. They’re people I genuinely care about or converse often. This level can be sub-divided further to conversational and non-conversational. Those that fall in the conversational group are close friends because I talk to them often (wherein often is a number determined by me). While my care for them may not be as immense as those of non-conversational, they still hold some importance to me. Their opinions matter along with how they think about situations.
The other half is non-conversational. These are the people I don’t talk to a lot due to incompatible schedules or talking simply makes everything awkward. However, they are people I have great care for. They are people I’d be willing to help at any moment simply because there’s a bond that exists between us. Actions speak louder than words— that’s the essence of my non-conversational relationship.
6. Almost There’s
Almost There’s is a group that in the transitional phase between close friends and best friends. They’re people who I’d occasionally rant to or share thoughts with, but am still cautious around. The only reason why they’re in that level is that I have trust issues. It’s difficult for me to trust people with the workings of mind or issues I have to deal with at home. Usually, the information I give to people in this group is disjointed. I’d say a portion of it to one person while saying the remainder to another. With handful of people in this level, the information I share is like a puzzle waiting to be solved. The fact I can’t share information purely shows that I have trust issues. I simply need to figure out if these people are worthy of my trust and time.
7. Best Friends
The highest level that can be attained in my relationship pyramid. Whenever I’m together with someone, the person automatically earns a spot at this level. For me, best friends and a boyfriend are at par in importance. Neither have greater importance over the other. For those that attain this level in a friendship status, it means they worked their butts off to please my high standards. They’ve seen my bad side and my good side. They’re people whom no matter what idiotic thing they’ve done, I’ll still love. They are basically important. As for those who have attained it through boyfriend status, once the relationship ends, the events that follow the break will determine if they still stay or get demoted.
Recently, there have been a lot of fluctuations. Rankings have been promoted; others, demoted. I think my standards are slowly changing. However, the basic essence of the relationship pyramid still stays.